Bone riderWhy I read it:  Quite a few of my friends, representing a broad range of reading tastes have loved this book so I bought it.

What it’s about: (from Goodreads)  Riley Cooper is on the run. Misha Tokarev, the love of his life, turned out to be an assassin for the Russian mob, and when it comes to character flaws, Riley draws the line at premeditated murder. Alien armor system McClane is also on the run, for reasons that include accidentally crashing a space ship into Earth and evading U.S. military custody. A failed prototype, McClane was scheduled for destruction. Sabotaging the ship put an end to that, but McClane is dubbed a bone rider for good reason—he can’t live without a host body. That’s why he first stows away in Riley’s truck and then in Riley himself. Their reluctant partnership soon evolves into something much more powerful—and personal—than either of them could have imagined.

Together, they embark on a road trip from hell, made all the more exciting by the government troops and mob enforcers hot on their trail. Misha is determined to win Riley back and willing to do whatever it takes to keep him safe. When hitman and alien join forces, they discover their impressive combined potential for death and destruction. It will take everything Riley has to steer them through the mess they create.

What worked for me (and what didn’t):  It’s going to be a challenge to describe the plot in a coherent manner and without giving too much away.  McClane (who, when we first meet “him” is known as “System Six”) is an “intelligent armor and weapons system with codependency issues”. I pictured him a bit like the mercury man (aka the T-1000) from Terminator II when he was all melty.  He needs a scaffolding (if you like) to adhere to – he needs a host.  He is connected to a host when the book begins but McClane doesn’t like him even a little bit and wants out.  When he gets his chance, he takes it.  But McClane cannot be without a host for long and survive.  When cowboy Riley Cooper drives along in his truck (more about why Riley is driving later), he “hitches” a ride and causes the truck to stop and Riley to investigate.  Then, when the hood is up, McClane invades. 

Riley couldn’t evict the creature on his own, and he wasn’t sure he would’ve done it if he could’ve, because even though it had jumped on board uninvited, it hadn’t done so out of malice.

 

He understood survival instinct. He knew what it was like to be desperate enough to do shit you wouldn’t normally do. It said a lot about his alien squatter that it was trying to win him over instead of simply hurting him until he submitted. Also, yes, Riley did remember all those awesome orgasms and he was honest enough with himself to admit that fantastic sex made a persuasive argument. It wasn’t because he was lonely. He wasn’t. He’d been happy on his own before he’d met Misha and he’d be over Misha soon enough. He wasn’t seriously contemplating granting sanctuary to an alien because it would give him somebody to talk to, because that would’ve been pathetic. Right.

 

“This is gonna be short-term?” he said, biting his lip and wondering if he was about to make the mistake of his life.

 

Cross my heart and hope to die, the squatter promised eagerly. Can I stay?

 

“Can I kick you out?”

 

No. I swear, you won’t want to, I’ll be—

 

“—quiet as a mouse?” Riley suggested dryly.

 

As a whole pack of mice. There was a brief sense of movement under Riley’s skin again, but this time it felt nice, warm, and kneading, like a massage. Thank you, the alien said softly.

 

“You’re welcome.”

McClane doesn’t really have a gender.  He’s a sentient being but he doesn’t have sex organs of his own.  He identifies as male but even he thinks that could be because Riley is male.  McClane feels “male” so he chooses that as his sexual identity – just as he chooses to call himself McClane.

Riley had been in a relationship with Misha Tokarev up until it became clear, with no deniability, that Misha is a Russian mafia hit man.  Riley took off and he’s pretty sure he’s being followed by one of Misha’s associates (it’s not paranoia if they really are after you).

Misha is desperate to get Riley back – he will do anything – what he feels for Riley is so deep and so strong.  Misha’s father wouldn’t mind getting his hands on Riley too – he would like to destroy the reason for Misha’s distraction.  Besides, daddy has plans for a dynastic wedding for his son – Misha is not on board even a little bit but that’s just semantics.

When McClane’s alien spaceship crash landed on Earth, it drew the attention of the military.  So, the military are after McClane, Misha and his father (albeit separately) are after Riley and it all collides in a series of brilliant action set-pieces which would translate to a movie blockbuster if it was ever made into a film.

In terms of romance, McClane and Riley bond and become friends and kind-of lovers – they do have sex but it’s not like any kind of sex I’ve read about before.  It is a romance so there is a HFN, so when Misha joins them, it is kind of a menage.  Riley loves Misha, Misha loves Riley, McClane loves (?) Riley and is very attracted to Misha and besides, he makes Riley happy which is good enough for him.  Misha respects and likes McClane because he protects and cares for Riley.

It took me a while to get used to the style.  It felt, to me, more like a movie because there were multiple POVs – including from a couple of the military personnel.  If you think of a movie like Independence Day with the multiple POVs, that is kind of like what Bone Rider is like, but in book form.  It also took me a while to get my head around McClane.  But once I did, it was a cracker of a read and McClane was strangely endearing.

Misha is unapologetically a hit man but it turns out that with all the trouble Riley and McClane are in (with the military, with Misha’s dad), Misha’s skills are just what is needed.  And there is definitely a fantasy quality to the book so that one of the heroes being a hit man didn’t bother me like it may well have done in a contemporary novel.

What else? While I enjoyed Bone Rider very much – parts of it were edge-of-the-seat tense – it was also a book I found easy to put down.  When I was actually reading I enjoyed it (but less so the parts from the military’s POV – I was much more interested in McClane, Riley and Misha) it wasn’t necessarily something which drew me back to read compulsively.  (I’ve just finished Night Broken by Patricia Briggs – a totally different book of course, but I was constantly drawn to keep reading and to go back to it when I was forced to stop.)  I can’t necessarily put my finger on why Bone Rider didn’t compel me to stay up late or put off work in order to read – maybe it is as simple as the parts with the military POVs were simply less interesting to me and they were usually where I put the book down and it wasn’t something that drew me back to the story).

That said, it is a cracker of a book.  I really do think it would make a great popcorn movie.  It is also self-published and it another example of self-publishing done well.  It’s a very different book to any I have read before, – there was some interesting subtext about personhood, particularly in relation to McClane – I thought the world-building was sufficient for the story, neither too thin nor too thick and there was a wonderful internal consistency to it.  It’s an action-adventure with cowboys, hitmen, aliens, survivalists and soldiers, plus a strong and endearing romantic element and lashings of humour – and a great deal of fun.

“Don’t lick me again,” Riley ordered, rubbing his chest to get rid of the lingering impression of that touch.

 

The alien promptly repeated the move. You liked it, it purred when Riley shuddered in reaction. Then it added, more seriously, I don’t care he’s a movie character. I like the name. I like having a name. It makes me more than just a chunk of metal. It says I get to have choices, like everybody else. It was getting passionate about this, and Riley found he couldn’t blame it. I don’t want other people to decide I’m gonna be destroyed because I didn’t meet their expectations. I’m alive. I’m real. I might never be completely free, but I can pretend.

 

Hard to disagree with that.

Grade: B+

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