Why I read it: This book of “novelettes” contains offerings by some of my favourite authors and proceeds go to a worthy cause.

I decided to review Real Feelings separately for a couple of reasons:

1. The review for the entire anthology was way too long and the section about Real Feelings was the longest individual bit.

2. I had lots of thoughts about the story which I wanted to tease out separately to the other novelettes in the anthology.

What it’s about: (from Goodreads) What happens when love gets caught in the rain?

In this romance anthology, RITA-Award winning author Molly O’Keefe shows us the power of a city thunderstorm from the top of a skyscraper, while Amy Jo Cousins soaks us in a rain in Spain. New York Times bestselling author Ruthie Knox’s heroine is devastated by a winter storm, while a summer thunderstorm grants Alexandra Haughton’s hero and heroine a second chance at love. Rain sparks self-awareness in the robot in Charlotte Stein’s story and allows Mary Ann Rivers’s heroine to fall in love with her hero and her own art. Rain causes romance between the college students in Audra North’s and Shari Slade’s stories, while romance causes rain in Cecilia Tan’s myth-inspired tale of a sacrifice to a demi-god. Nine romance novelettes, edited by Sarah Frantz.

All proceeds from the volume will be donated to the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (www.rainn.org), the largest anti-sexual violence organization in the United States

What worked for me (and what didn’t): What a fascinating concept this story had. Set some unspecified time in the future, a woman buys an android, basically as a sex toy. But when she turns him on (heh) she finds that issues of will and consent are important and she struggles with the morality of their “relationship”. He was programmed to serve her in any capacity she wishes. He has no free will, She literally owns him. The Dear Reader note at the front indicates that Ms. Stein wanted to explore these kinds of issues in a “safe” kind of way and it is a very novel idea indeed. Moira feels so uncomfortable with her power over her android, she does not immediately seek a sexual relationship with him – even though that’s what she bought him for. I suppose it is spoilerish to say that the android (who calls himself Michael), becomes sentient but I felt it was the intention of the plot all along so I don’t feel major qualms about letting it slip here. (Also, the blurb gives it away.) And it is in this aspect I found the most things to ponder and talk about anyway. Michael says:

“The more I saw you angry at the idea of owning me, the more I imagined deciding for myself. The more I became Michael. You made it all right for me to become Michael.”

In answer to his sentience, Moira finds a certain freedom:

I smash my mouth onto his without a second’s hesitation, so different to the first move I made. This thing has no borders, no limits, no lingering sense of guilt. He can tell me if I cross a line. He can ask if I go in the wrong direction.

And that set me to wondering if, in having free will, Michael will become (or reveal himself to be perhaps) a man that Moira does not like or a man that does not like Moira? Moira thinks, of men in general:

Actual men take things for granted and so rarely have to hide from the pleasure they feel. They’re taught that their experience is paramount and everything they want is okay, to the point where seeing something different is a goddamn revelation.

But is Michael an “actual man” at the end of the story? If he is not, is that only because he was “raised” differently? Will he become an “actual man” as a result of sentience? Will he only be able to be sentient when he’s with her (there is some discussion in the story about a possible antagonistic reaction to this phenomenon by the general populace)? If he is restricted in such a way does he really have free will?

I had many thoughts and I’m still pondering some of them. But the story was fascinating and it made me think in ways I haven’t before.

As a romance, it was less successful because there wasn’t a lot of Michael and I wasn’t entirely convinced his free will was… real. Perhaps I could have been satisfied of it had the POV of both characters. I was unsure whether Michael responded to Moira because she was his “saviour”, because he was programmed to or merely because she was female and willing to put out. I didn’t get a sense that he “chose” Moira. Or that, if he had a choice, that he would choose Moira. And the very premise begged that question for me. Perhaps it was his choice to reveal his sentience to Moira but what was his alternative? Honestly, I had so many questions – the whole premise was so interesting to me.

While I am usually not a fan of ambiguity, in this instance, the questions I have are not complaints. In many ways I saw this story as a kind of thought experiment and the point was the questions I think.

As a romance, I had mixed feelings about the novella, but as a story which made me think and ponder lots of interesting things, it was a win.