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One Final Step by Stephanie Doyle

October 18, 2012 / Kaetrin

Why I read it: I heard the author talking about this one on a recent DBSA podcast and saw the review at Dear Author. After getting spoilers (because I had totally forgotten the podcast which let the cat out of the bag) I went out and bought it.

What it’s about: (from Goodreads) A new image step by step Who said moving forward is easy? Car thief turned race car driver, Michael Langdon has worked hard to build his image. Now to take it to the next level and become a successful manufacturer, he needs to kick that image up a notch. Enter Madeleine Kane, a genius at adjusting public perception. With her in charge, he’s guaranteed to look better while keeping his darkest secrets where they belong—in the past.

Doesn’t take long, however, for his ambition to change and the campaign to become personal. Because he wants Madeleine—as beautiful as she is talented and smart. First, Michael must overcome her reservations about crossing professional boundaries and persuade her he’s worth the riskwithout revealing those buried parts of himself. Good thing he’s very persuasive.

Warning: Possible spoiler-y review ahead.

What worked for me (and what didn’t): Madeline Kane (I so keep wanting to type Kahn) has been in hiding for 7 years after being a “Monica Lewinsky” to a former president. The scandal has died down (of course, it’s been 7 years and she’s been completely out of the spotlight) but Madeline is not “over” it. I had quite a bit of sympathy for Madeline. I understood completely her dismay with other people having a timetable to which she should adhere for everything to be all right.

She hated when people recited the number. It was like there wa some magical timetable in the universe for recovery. After two years she should have moved on. After five years she should have put it in perspective. After seven years she should have forgotten it entirely.

Because I related to that aspect of her, I felt kindly disposed toward Madeline and found her less cold than other readers have. And, I think she has a point. If Monical Lewinsky was in the public eye now, wouldnt’ the first thing that anyone said about her be “former paramour of Bill Clinton…” or words to that effect? Isn’t that something that the media will never let go of? I guess if Madeline embraced it and there was a certain level of media saturation maybe it would get tired, but after dealing with 6 months of harrassment and inappropriate come-ons and sexual expectations from people who thought she was a slut (and not in the sex-positive way, in the shaming way), I can certainly understand Madeline’s reluctance to go anywhere near that kind of media exposure again. And, I think she’s also right – her job is to help other people in the media spotlight – she would hog their story and most likely, damage the reputation she’s trying to promote.

I appreciated her relationship with Ben Tyler (friend and employer), as (aside from setting up Ben and Anna’s story for a future book?) it showed that she was a caring friend and not a stone cold bitch.

I also liked that Madeline took responsibility for her actions with the president and wasn’t his victim. That was a twist I appreciated.

I liked Michael also. Here comes the potential spoiler-y bit. I’m not sure it counts as a spoiler if the author let the cat out of the bag on a podcast, but just in case, BE YE WARNED.

He’s impotent after an incident in prison. Generally, I liked the way this was handled in the book, but I have a couple of quibbles and because of them, I had to reveal the issue. At one point in the story, Michael wants to do more than just kiss Madeline. He wants to touch her and go down on her and make her come. Even though he can’t. Or, he wants to use the little blue pill and have intercourse with her and make her come – even though he won’t. He’s at the point where the intimacy and connection of the acts have their own reward, where he wants to share physical pleasure with Madeline, even though as far as orgasms are concerned, the pleasure he will share is Madeline’s. And Madeline says no because it’s unfair/unequal. I didn’t really like that. I wouldn’t have minded it perhaps (maybe?) if that had’ve come up later after he’d been intimate with her for a while, but Madeline drew the line right from the start. This denied Michael pleasure and satisfaction as well as herself and I felt like it showed she didn’t really accept him. Now the story sets up that Madeline has some intimacy issues so maybe that’s why but I would much rather have seen the story arc toward Michael learning to enjoy physical intimacy with Madeline without orgasm and then progressing from there. And also, what if he didn’t get “better”? What if Viagra was the best he was ever going to do? Would she have refused them both any intimate satisfaction forever? I would have liked to have seen them enjoy sex together without a hard dick in the mix. As it was…

Potential secondary spoiler.

He gets better. And it’s pretty spontaneous and it seemed a bit quick for me. Even though in the story it was specifically said to not be as a result of true lurrve, it did kind of feel that way for me. Having said that, I know nothing about male impotence. So who am I to judge? But, if he hadn’t got better, I don’t think they would have made it as a couple – not unless she changed her position on the “equality” thing. Moving on.

I did like the chemistry between Michael and Madeline and I thought the author portrayed Michael’s “guyness” really well.

“I didn’t date much, but there were a few dates. I never cared for the feeling that I was something to be conquered. I liked kissing, but when I was with a boy I always felt like he was lying in wait, ready to pounce and move on to the next step.”

“That’s because he was. He was a boy.”

“And you’re a man.”

“Have to tell you, we don’t change much in that regard.”

and I liked the subtle humor throughout the book too:

“I bet you’ve got glass ring stains on all your tables. Maybe dried milk at the bottom of cereal bowls left scattered throughout the house.”

“Now you’re being ridiculous.”

“Oh, shit…you’re not a hoarder, are you? I’ve seen those shows on TV and those houses creep me the hell out.”

He was playing with her, and in an odd way it helped to calm her nerves. “You’ll just have to see.” She got out of the car and he followed, grabbing his overnight bag from the backseat and swinging it over his shoulder.

She unlocked the front door and swung it open. “I hope you don’t mind cats. I’ve got twenty-three of them.”

He stopped at the door.

“Kidding.”

What else? I enjoyed the author’s voice and found it an easy and enjoyable read. Brie from Romance Around the Corner tells me that The Way Back is even better so I’ll be checking that one out for sure.

Grade: B

Tigerland by Sean Kennedy & Giveaway

October 15, 2012 / Kaetrin

Why I read it: The author kindly provided a ARC for my enjoyment.

Giveaway: Because I was planning to buy the book, I’ve decided to buy an e-copy for a commenter to celebrate the release of Tigerland on October 15 from Dreamspinner Press. If the lucky winner hasn’t read Tigers & Devils, I’ll chuck in a copy of that too. Giveaway ends 26 October and I’ll announce the randomly drawn winner the following week. Please leave an email address in your comment so I can contact you if you win. No email, no entry.

Just comment to enter, no need to be a follower or do any Twittering (though you can if you want to). International entries welcome. Let me know if I forgot anything important.

What it’s about: (from Goodreads) Sequel to Tigers and Devils

After an eventful and sometimes uncomfortably public courtship, Simon Murray and Declan Tyler settled into a comfortable life together. Now retired from the AFL, Declan works as a football commentator; Simon develops programs with queer content for a community television station.

Despite their public professional lives, Simon and Declan manage to keep their private life out of the spotlight. Their major concerns revolve around supporting their friends through infertility and relationship problems—until Greg Heyward, Declan’s ex-partner, outs himself in a transparent bid for attention.

Though Simon and Declan are furious with Greg and his media antics, they can’t agree on what to do about it. Declan insists they should maintain a dignified silence, but both he and Simon keep getting drawn into Heyward’s games. Simon and Declan will once again have to ride out the media storm before they can return their attention to what really matters: each other.

What worked for me (and what didn’t): It’s always a bit nerve-wracking for me when a favourite author puts out a sequel to a beloved book. After all, what happens if I don’t like it? Fortunately, I didn’t have to find out in this case. Tigerland is fun, romantic and full of classic Simon Murray humour, although 5 years with Declan has softened him (just a little). I don’t think Tigerland is quite as good as Tigers & Devils, but that is kind of like saying The Dark Knight Rises isn’t quite as good as The Dark Knight – I mean, nothing was going to live up to that and it would be unfair to even think it. I blame Heath Ledger.

Tigerland picks up 3 years after the events in Tigers & Devils. Declan has retired after injury put an early end to his career (as captain of Essendon – go the Bombers!! (that was from my husband who bows down to the altar of James Hird – I quite understand, I have similar feelings, albeit for different reasons… ahem, moving on). Declan has moved into the commentary box and even Simon has moved into television production in Community TV, with responsibility for 4 shows, including one called QueerSports. They are happy together, settled and waiting for the day when they can be legally married in Australia (aren’t we all guys, aren’t we all). Simon’s relationship with his family has improved (not least due to Declan’s influence; they are all, apart from Simon, mad keen Essendon supporters and hello, Dec was their captain). There might be a shrine in the Murray household. Fran and Roger are happy together but Abe and Lisa are separated and Simon and Dec are hoping for them to reconcile.

Then Grey Heyward, ~~Simon’s nemesis~~ one of Simon’s nemeses from T&D decides to retire from football, come out as gay and reveal his previous relationship with Dec (possibly with intimate details) and the media shitstorm commences.

What nearly tore them apart in T&D was all the adverse media attention after Declan’s outing and neither Simon nor Dec are excited about going through it again.

It says something special about Simon that the main reason he detests Heyward is the damage he caused Dec – it’s nothing so simple as jealousy.

I hadn’t seen him in person since that night at the Brownlows, and only on television or the net since then, but his image was forever burned into my brain. Declan’s infamous ex, the one that had cheated on him and kept him even further in the closet and succeeded at being the only person who ever really made Dec feel shitty about himself… there he was, walking along the street like some character in a cartoon, musical notes flying out of his mouth as he whistled merrily to himself without a care in the world.

One of my “fears” when diving into the book was whether Simon and Dec would split up during the course of it – could I cope if my favourite Australian gay couple broke up, even if only for a little while (Sean Kennedy knows the romance contract – I trust him not to break it, but still)? I’m pleased to say they don’t. (I hope that’s not too spoilery – I checked with a friend and she thought not, so blame her not me! – this, in football parlance is called “the handball“). There is tension in their relationship. It is tested and strained, but never broken. And that made me very happy. But, it also meant that, to some degree it was less satisfying than T&D because the conflict was a little familiar and wasn’t as significant. It’s not just me who thinks so. As Simon himself says:

“…But a lot of shit was said about you and me both when you were outed, and we survived that. This is nothing in comparison.”

(Simon was exaggerating somewhat here. It certainly wasn’t “nothing”).

Roger and Fran face a challenge in this book as well. I can’t tell you how glad I am that it wasn’t solved with magical rainbows and sparkly butterflies. I’m sure that one way or another Roger and Fran will realise their dream but I did appreciate the sensitivity shown here by Simon (and by extension, the author).

Even after 5 years together, Simon and Dec still go at it like bunnies. But because Simon and Dec are very private people, the lights are off (at least to us readers) and the door is firmly shut. While I have some (entirely inappropriate) curiosities about their love life, it suits the book and the characters for this to be so. There’s plenty of romance and affection and dialogue which show the depth of this couple’s relationship. To sex it up would have done them a disservice I think. Even though I’m usually pretty happy to read about sexing it up. There are exceptions to every rule, as they say.

Simon, a self-described “Eeyore” is a funny guy. Even when he’s miserable, he has a way of describing things which make me laugh. Here are a couple of “Simon-ism’s” to whet your appetite.

“We’re super,” I said, and internally winced. Why on earth did I keep coming out with that? Soon I’d be riding on bicycles with the Famous Five, enjoying lashings of ginger beer and racially profiling gypsies.

and

“Really?” I asked, idly wishing that my life was like a wua-hua film so I could throw my letter opener at him and stab him in the forehead.

I did find myself asking if the media would be quite as interested in a relationship Heyward and Dec had had some 6 years earlier. But, the media are weird. It’s not quite as salacious as when Wayne Carey porked his teammate’s wife in a cupboard at a party (true story) but when Kurt Tippett decided to defect (the traitor!) to Sydney from the Crows everyone here went nuts, so really, it could happen.

The book is peculiarly Australian – there are plenty of references to Australian TV shows, sights and culture which I wonder if non-Australian readers will fully understand. But as I am an Australian it didn’t bother me at all.

It saddened me to realise that Simon and Dec had to be so careful about something as innocuous as holding hands in public. It’s not a reality that heterosexual couples encounter. Simon and Dec are welcome to visit me anytime and they can hold hands as much as they want to at my place. Hug even.

Simon, as usual, gets himself into a series of sticky situations which made me laugh out loud. It was a pleasure to spend time with these people again. It felt like visiting old friends. Oh, how I had missed them. Note to Sean Kennedy: When marriage equality finally makes it Down Under, will you please write ~~a short story~~ another book so we can see Simon and Declan get married?

What else? You really need to have read Tigers & Devils before reading Tigerland. I read T&D before I started writing reviews but one of these days I will do a re-read and be more explicit about why it’s so excellent. In the meantime, just trust me. Go read them both.

Grade: B/B+

Don’t forget the giveaway! Comment to enter. 🙂

Laid Open by Lauren Dane

October 15, 2012 / Kaetrin

Why I read it: My favourite book in this series is Laid Bare – where this threesome got together so it was a no brainer that I was going to pick this one up.

Warning: Series spoilers ahoy.

What it’s about: (from Goodreads) All she needed to pack was a few bikinis, a toothbrush and some sunscreen. This is what Ben told Erin when he presented her and Todd with tickets to Fiji and the promise of ten days of nothing but sleeping until whenever they wanted, sex without having to lock the door and lots of alone time.

And that’s what they have. Long days and nights filled with pleasure. Long enough that the stress and exhaustion drops away and the three can simply enjoy each other.

They’ve got heat. More than ever before. Recharging their batteries has also brought new levels of intimacy and connection. But when Erin stumbles over the pain of her past, both men band together to not only help her through, but to help each other as well.

What worked for me (and what didn’t): When I read Laid Bare, I loved how the relationship between Todd and Ben developed – from being best friends to being lovers too. By the end of Laid Bare, they had started making out and I believe there was even a BJ scene. I know from the subsequent books in the series that they were together and happy and had had a baby boy (Alexander) together (deliberately choosing not to identify the biological father). Erin and Todd are legally married and Todd is Alexander’s legal father however. And, one of the things which always struck me about the triad, even though their relationship was developing, was that the centre was Erin. By the end of Laid Bare, I wondered if Ben and Todd would stay together if Erin was out of the picture for some reason and I thought, probably not.

I should probably talk about the novella now…

Laid Open is a novella featuring this threesome and I was hoping to see that the relationship between Todd and Ben had developed further and that their relationship was more “equal” (in terms of emotions). And, I got it. Sort of.

But. The second paragraph of the story is:

“His entire life was right there and it filled him with joy.”

‘Right there’ was Erin and Alexander – Todd wasn’t home yet. It’s possible I put too much emphasis on that as I read the book, but hey, it was on the first page. When Todd does go home, Erin and Ben both get some alone time to greet him “properly” and it is clear that Ben and Todd’s relationship has indeed progressed. They are more physically comfortable with each other and, as becomes apparent later in the book (in delicious detail), their sexual comfort zone has also extended.

The trio go on a lovely holiday to Fiji to have some alone time together, without the pressure of work and without (the delightfuly distraction of) Alexander (who stays with Brody). Then we have lots of lovely sex between Erin and Todd, Erin and Ben, Ben and Todd and all three of them together.

About 2/3 through I was thinking, ‘well this is nice and all but where’s the conflict?’ – and right then, Erin’s demons about the death of her daughter Adele come back to bite her. I had mixed feelings about this. First, I absolutely get that such a tremendous loss can and will surge from time to time and sometimes, with unexpected viciousness. It’s not something Erin will ever “get over” – it’s something she had learned to live with but it doesn’t mean it won’t bite her in the ass from time to time. And I’d never judge the way someone grieves – there is no timetable. I get that. What jarred me was Erin’s over-reaction to not realising the date at first. I say over-reaction because as is clear from the text, she had actually forgotten nothing and had prepared (prior to holidaying) for the date. What she was actually beating herself up for felt like an excuse for conflict in the story rather than real. I’ll say it again – her being upset over the anniversary of her daughter’s death was completely understandable. Absolutely. But, something about the way it was expressed in the story felt manufactured.

Erin needs a little alone time and Todd and Ben try to plan how to help her. It is Ben who urges Todd to hold back a little. He uses as his example, how he feels left out sometimes – he’s not legally married to Erin and he’s not on Alexander’s birth certificate. He doesn’t have an acknowledged place in their relationship according to the wider world. And sometimes, it bothers him. Now this. This was a real conflict. I could happily have read more about this. For me, that was the natural conflict in the story that was left basically unresolved. Todd gives Ben some reassurance but that’s about it.

The chemistry the trio has is off the charts and I like the way they are together. I believe that they are all happy in their relationship together and short of Erin’s death (which I do not wish for), they will all be together for the long haul. But, if something happened to Erin, would Todd and Ben say together and raise Alexander as a couple? I have no doubt that if something happened to either of the men, Erin and whoever survived would grieve, but they’d stay together as a couple. I guess my sense of equality (? balance?) is somehow bothered by this discrepancy – which is ridiculous but there you go. Still, I did feel that the balance had increased in their relationship as compared to the first book, so there’s that.

What else? In many ways for me, this book was a bit of a stroke-fest. The part where Erin loses it seemed a bit obviously hurt/comfort and somewhat forced but I can’t say that it was a hardship to watch these 3 scorch the sheets.

Grade: B-

Fields of Gold by Dev Bentham

October 14, 2012 / Kaetrin

Why I read it: I was offered a review copy by the author and I’ve enjoyed her previous books.

What it’s about: (from Goodreads) Life is full of compromises. That’s what Avi Rosen tells himself. He’s a yeshiva boy turned historian, working on his dissertation and stretching his meager stipend by moonlighting as a closeted politician’s houseboy. Their relationship used to feel like a real affair. Lately it seems more like a job.

It isn’t until he meets someone decent that he realizes how corrupt his life has become. Pete is a tall blond farmer who charms Avi with his dazzling smile and his straightforward life. But even if he can believe this refreshingly honest man doesn’t have his own political agenda, will Avi find the strength to emerge from the dark life he’s chosen and find a future in the sun

What worked for me (and what didn’t): I enjoy Ms. Bentham’s writing style and, as expected I enjoyed this book as well. I liked the imagery of Pete being the bright blond man who helps (inspires?) Avi into the light. Avi doesn’t like to think of himself as a whore, but he starts to as time goes by, when he realises he doesn’t love his assemblyman and the “relationship” is more about having a roof over his head than romance. When he meets Pete, he is attracted and tempted. The picture is of someone who’s afraid to move on, who is hiding. This is reflected in his academic life too – he’s been at college for 7 (?) years working on his dissertation for many of them and he’ll make every excuse possible why he’s not read to defend. I don’t know much about the US academic system so I’m taking it on faith that people actually spend years and years on their PhD at college. But, because of my lack of knowledge, I’m happy enough to go with the flow. (Truth to tell, I don’t know much about that level of education in Australia either).

When he’s pushed, by his attraction to Pete, and academically by his professor, he starts to come out of hiding.

I thought the conflict between Pete and Avi at the end was a little manufactured – Avi had no reason to believe that badly of Pete I thought. But, it did force Avi to spend some time on his own and the advantage to that was that I was sure he wanted to be with Pete and the end (and Pete was too) rather than just jumping from one “relationship” to another for some kind of safety net.

I liked how Pete and Avi were together – the juxtaposition of the kindness and sensitivity (without being wimpy) that Pete showed Avi, how they could be together openly (“in the light”) and the closeted, dark and hidden relationship with Mr. Assemblyman who treated him like a servant, (like a whore, in fact) only served to highlight just what a catch Pete was.

I found there was very little by way of description of Avi physically, so other than from the cover (which could be accurate I guess), I didn’t really get a picture of him. Dark hair, shorter than Pete, skinny and pale was about all I could glean (notice my grain farming reference there? heh) from the text. I would have liked to have had a clearer mental picture of Avi but that’s probably a me thing.

I also liked how Professor Joan was able to pin down what made Avi tick academically and what he would be most comfortable and happy doing, as opposed to what he could potentially be successful financially doing.

What else? There were a number of sympathetic female characters in the book, which is a plus I’m appreciating more and more with m/m romance.

Even though the title of the series is Tarnished Souls and is set around Jewish holidays – this one is about Jewish New Year and Yom Kippur, I think the story is only tangentially related to that theme. Not that it matters.

I liked catching up with Isaac and Nathan from Learning from Isaac also.

Given that they were only together for 2 weeks, I thought it was entirely appropriate that the book ended with a hopeful HEA rather than a proposal and exchange of rings (whether symbolic or legal – I don’t know the state of the law in Wisconsin). I did think that the two would make it in the long haul – the fact that there wasn’t over the top emoting at the end, made me more convinced of it actually.

The parts of the book that worked best for me were when Pete and Avi were together and I would have liked more of it. The book is only just over 110 pages long and, like in earlier books from this author, I felt that a bit more fleshing out of the main characters, their issues and their relationship (via more pages), would have really added to my enjoyment of the story. I enjoy Ms. Bentham’s books but, would love to see her take more page time to add some further depth – because her books have the potential to be amazing.

Grade: B-

Deep Desires by Charlotte Stein

October 13, 2012 / Kaetrin

Why I read it: This is another I heard about on Twitter and bought. Thank you Mandi 🙂

What it’s about: (from Goodreads) The Further She Goes, the More She Needs …

Abbie Gough has done her best to escape a violent past. But in the process, she’s avoided life, desire and love. So when she sees her equally closed off neighbour, Ivan, performing for her one night through his window, she can’t stop looking.

Voyeuristic pleasures become Abbie’s lifeline. But as she comes alive and craves more, Ivan backs away. He has his own secrets , the kind that draw her into kinky games and her own shameful desires, while also preventing real intimacy between them. But now she’s found someone so special, she’s not about to give up easily. And she’s willing to do whatever it takes to melt Ivan’s cool exterior. Even if captivating him means pushing through her limits to whatever lies beyond.

What worked for me (and what didn’t): This is a short, dark and very sexy book. Abbie lives a solitary life, alone and afraid (the reasons for which become clear as the story progresses). One night she sees, through her window into her neighbour’s window across the courtyard. He’s masturbating. And he knows she’s watching. She’s fascinated and aroused and they start a mutually voyeuristic ‘relationship’ through their windows. In this section of the book there is almost no dialogue. The story is told from Abbie’s first person POV and there is a feeling, particularly in the first section of almost stifling closeness, so deeply are we in Abbie’s head. The way it’s written, the reader is a voyeur too.

After her neighbour (whose name, she discovers is Ivan) starts sending her gifts (in a non stalker-y way), their relationship begins to progress to phone calls and eventually, them being physically in the same room as each other. And, their sexual relationship progresses too. It is apparent that their phone calls are long and wide ranging and they get to know each other fairly well in these calls, even though their conversations aren’t documented all that much in the book.

Ivan has his own problems – he has difficulties with physical intimacy and lives his life in strict order. In Abbie he sees the potential for release or at least relief from both of these things – things which stifle him.

The ending is perhaps a bit formulaic but the development of the relationship between Ivan and Abbie was compelling and oh so sexy.

It is, at heart the story of two broken people finding strength, acceptance and passion in each other and that’s always a story I’m interested in reading. Plus, blindfold sex.

Grade: B

I love this community. I really do.

October 12, 2012 / Kaetrin

Anyone who follows me on Twitter will know that my stepdad had a brain bleed yesterday and he’s currently in the ICU, with a shunt draining the excess fluid from his head to relieve the pressure. He’s hanging in there, can move all his limbs and recognises people. He’s still a bit confused and a bit slurry but the doctors are saying that’s to be expected. He was having another CT scan today to check on the status of the bleed and plan future treatment. So far, so good.

When I first got the call, after a mild meltdown and a phone hug from my husband, one of the things I did was to post a Tweet asking for good thoughts and prayers. And boy, did you guys really come through. I’ve often wondered when I see someone sharing bad news or troubling times on Twitter and I’ve sent a message of encouragement whether I’m intruding or whether it actually has any meaning (this is more a function of me second-guessing myself as opposed to anything else) but I can honestly say, having been on the other end of it yesterday and today, that those messages of encouragement really do mean something. They helped. It’s always good to know there are people on your side.

I don’t know if other book comunities are like this, if it’s just romancelandia or even if it’s just *my* book community; but in any event, I love it. I wanted to say I appreciate you guys so much – from the interesting and smart discussions we have such as here, to the support we as a community give when one of us suffers a tragedy (such as a husband being taken from his family before his time as a result of a crime or a cancer scare, etc) and most especially today, to the support given to me. I couldn’t fit it into 140 characters so I’m posting here. It’s my blog and I can be sappy here if I want to! 🙂

In other news, I have a review up at AudioGals today of Getting Rid of Bradley by Jenny Crusie and I have a number of other reviews lined up. I’m also planning a giveaway to celebrate the release (on October 15) of Tigerland by Sean Kennedy so watch out for that in the next little bit too.

Sometimes I get down about the reviewing/blogging climate and some of the crap that goes on, but really, you guys (and you know who you are) make it fun and worthwhile. So, thank you.

Kaetrin